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The “Love Language” Of Financial Responsibility

As February winds up, and the month of love comes to a close I wonder for how many people is financial responsibility a love language? I’ve heard a lot of talk about the book, The 5 Love Languages, by author and counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman, explaining the different ways that people feel loved. The book first came out in 1992 and I admit, I didn’t hear about it right away. I’m not always the first to hear about things in the popular culture. But I am very interested in what makes people feel loved.

Nice Things

According to Dr. Chapman “receiving gifts” is the “love language” that includes financial responsibility or financial stability. It’s number 3 on his list. Apparently, those who feel loved by receiving “nice things” tend to look for a partner or be attracted to someone who offers financial security, budgeting skills and career stability.” Those are great traits and I’m surprised everyone isn’t looking for a mate with those traits. However, surveys have found that “Financial stability was a constant top trait among all 5 of the love languages.” That makes me feel better.

Feeling Loved And Expressing Love

As a career financial advisor, as far as I’m concerned, financial responsibility is the most important foundation for building a successful marriage and family. It’s the clearest way of making someone feel loved. A strong financial foundation is the language I understand. I really appreciate when I have clients who tell me that they’ve made a commitment together with their spouse to make financial stability their primary goal.

I’ve had clients express themselves to their spouses in front of me. These are some of the things they’ve said to their loved ones.

“I love you enough to be financially and fiscally responsible together.”

“I love you enough to make sure our children learn to be financially responsible and stable.”

“I love you enough to provide for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of our loved ones if something happens to me and I’m no longer able to provide.”

“I love you enough to know that if we strive toward financial stability together, we will achieve our dreams and will be able to retire keeping our standard of living.”

Dr. Chapman’s 5 Love Languages are: 1. Quality Time; 2. Physical Touch; 3. Gifts; 4. Acts of Service, and 5. Words of Affirmation. If you address each one of these from how they affect your finances, it could look something like the following, which I came across in a blog at that goes like this:

Quality Time Scheduling recurring money dates with each other gives you a dedicated time to keep your money goals aligned.

Physical Touch Using credit cards can make finances feel intangible and cause you to lose your physical connection with your money.

Acts of Service

If you know that budgeting isn’t your partner’s strength, help them with their personal budget.

Gifts Treat yourself after reaching a financial goal – a reward for accomplishing your goal keeps you motivated to see your goal through to the end. Words of Affirmation You can also seek words of affirmation through the help of a financial advisor.

If You’re Ready To Express Your Love With Financial Stability

If you haven’t embarked on a retirement savings plan and are ready to get started as a couple or as an individual, give us a call and we’ll get you started on the road to financial stability and a wonderful way to express your love for yourself and your loved ones.

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