As a man, I will never know what it’s like to give birth to and mother a child. As a father, I am humbled in the face of what my wife did to carry and give birth to our children, what she has done through the years and continues to do to create, cultivate and maintain the coherence of our extraordinarily loving family. And, when I think of my mother, I too am deeply grateful and humbled in the face of her strength.
As we celebrated Mother’s Day this month
, I feel so blessed that our family is healthy and truly loving. However, I am well aware that not every mother’s life is filled with so much love and joy. I am also aware that whether a woman has actually given birth to her child or not, all women intuitively know how to mother.
I recently came across an article at the Mom’s Choice Award website that mentions blogger, Lisa Jo Baker’s acknowledgment that, “all of us are called to mother one another.”
https://www.momschoiceawards.com/blog/when-mothers-day-is-hard/ I have a feeling she means all women and not necessarily men. Though she doesn’t say anything that would exclude us!
I’ve known plenty of men who’ve had to step into the dual role of mother and father as a result of death or divorce. I also know there are many men who valiantly take on the motherhood role in today’s diverse families.
No Man Can Understand Fully
I am of the opinion that there isn’t a man on the planet who can fully understand the depth and breadth of the love and sacrifice a mother feels for her child. Women who raise children are selfless and caring, nourishing and nurturing in a way that even the most nurturing man cannot feel in his bones. Likewise, we cannot feel the ache that women who have suffered either the loss of a child or the heartbreak of having a child who doesn’t return her love knows.
In fact, I can only turn to a woman for help in even knowing how to express the depth of suffering. As Rachel Kiser, a self-described “blogger and mom of two” writes on the Mom’s Choice Award site, “The sad truth is, if you could survey the women in the room (church on Mother’s Day), statistically, you would find that there are very few who would be untouched by miscarriage, infertility, broken marriages and families, or death. So why is it so unheard of for these hurts to be acknowledged in the same breath as we acknowledge the amazing work of motherhood?”
She goes on to add, “My prayer is that we find a way to boldly acknowledge pain while still celebrating the gift of Motherhood in an intentional way.” This is her prayer.
“To the woman who is experiencing her first Mother’s Day since losing her mom, we grieve with you.
To the mother who is praying for a phone call from an estranged child, we pray with you.
To the woman who feels no call into the role of motherhood, we celebrate you.
To the mother who grieves her child lost to stillbirth, although her living children gather around her, we remember with you.
To those whose relationships with their own mothers are painful, strained, or toxic, we support you.
To the pregnant single mother, who doesn’t know what to expect and is doubting it all, we encourage you.” https://www.momschoiceawards.com/blog/when-mothers-day-is-hard/
I Second Those Emotions
To all the mothers, celebrating and/or suffering through this designated Mother’s Day, may each and every one of you know that even those of us men who cannot know what you go through that we deeply appreciate you. You are a blessing to us all.